Abusive relationships mind games

So, I resorted to a power struggle. If your boyfriend or husband is playing mind games with you, he may not know how to communicate directly. Or, he may be deliberately trying to manipulate and control you. Sometimes power struggles are more direct and well-planned than we realize. Is your boyfriend or husband threatening you? Does he question your values, beliefs, personality, opinions, actions, decisions?

Does he threaten to leave or divorce you? These behaviors go beyond mind games! Shanna mentioned five of the most common types of power struggles in relationships — and they all point to mind games. In any relationship, the most important sign of power struggles or mind games is your own intuition. Your gut instincts are a better indicator than a textbook definition or even examples of mind games. Start journaling or writing on blogs like this about the way your husband treats you. This will help you warm up to tell someone in person, to get healthy, and to deal with your husband.

Our experiences with love and loss will comfort and encourage you — especially if you feel manipulated and controlled by a man you love. Feel free to write about your relationship below.

Is your boyfriend playing mind games in your relationship? Is your husband engaging in power struggles that are destroying your marriage — and even your relationships with other people? Start writing the truth. It really will set you free. Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Aim right, and hunt your dream adverts and listings!

We believe in the power of Addhunters! We are aiming to be the most loved and trusted powerful community platform to our brands, retailers, sellers, buyers, creators, business owners, investors and individuals. Always did carboots and always saw this hot woman with a guy over a period of 6mths. My uncle got mad, stopped the car and let him out. My uncle then drove me home 40 miles. I have been doing alot of reading on abusive relationships.

Being away from him these past 6 weeks I have been extrememly happy even though he starts a fight with me every day just to keep me texting him or calling all day. I will not answer his calls or reply to his text messages. When I do not answer it does worry me. He hurt me once really bad. That is why my son hates him. But he hurt me more than that and I covered for him. I used to be a strong independent woman. I have fought with all my family members due to him.

I have lost some of my closest friends because of him. Today is another day of arguing and texting. What gets me the most is he will cuss me out and then call later and sweet talk me. I told him to leave me alone and he calls over and over because I do not answer the phone. He will stay up all night sending text messages.

I love him but I thought he was the person he pretended to be during the first three months. I think I am going to have to get a restraining order to keep him away. I question myself and wonder if I am right about who he is. He tells me over and over that I have him made out to be someone he is not. I am a good woman. I am giving and considerate and when I love, I love true and with respect for him and myself. I have never been accused of cheating so many times from one person.

But he continues to do it. He and I created enough drama. I am not wrong about him. Or am I? Question my self in California. One suggestion I have for you Connie is to listen to what he does, not what he says. Do you feel fully free to be yourself with him? Does he respect you? Is he honest with you? Does he invade your privacy?

Do you feel psychologically safe with him? Does your son feel all these things with him? You should flourish over time in a healthy relationship….. After reading this article I realize just how much this hits home.

For 4 years I have been with this monster of a man. We are not married but share a beautiful daughter together. He has broken into my home on several occasions, stolen from my father, lies to me and his daughter about everything. He has forced sex on me numerous times, pushed me into walls. He broke up with me in February this year and said he had met a woman at his work and wished to just be friends with me.

I thought that was the last of him but no it was far from it. He found out I went out to a party and went crazy, kept phoning me demanding me to answer my phone I told him to leave alone and reminded him he had broken up with me. About a month later he tried to crawl back again I foolishly accepted and soon enough the mind games continued.

He would make movie dates and drop me. Basically forget on purpose he would swear at me in front of the kids, calls me a whore and a bitch and says he was joking. I think we should be friends and he has met someone, which I think he is lying about. I told him he has a girlfriend so why should he care what I do.

He comes over and starts forcing me to cuddle him and hold him. Genoveve, it might be helpful for you to get counselling to support you in setting safe, clear boundaries. One possibility is changing your phone number, not answering his calls. But only if taking such a clear position is safe — you will know whether it is or not. Best wishes, Clare. I am so thankful for this website.

My husband has been playing these exact games with me and playing innocent all the while. He denies his actions and always has an excuse for every explanation. I have been drained, isolated, and have nowhere to go. I have no job because he is sure of that. I have no family life because as he states it is best I stay away from them.

He is constantly making me out to be the bad guy and I am tired of all of it. I am at the end of my rope with this marriage. You have every right to be free from abuse and to flourish. I sit here reading this, and actually this is my second time reading through everyone of these articles and all the comments, and I am frozen.

I cannot believe it … can it be true? Is it possible that I am not crazy? Am I not the problem? Are all my decisions and actions not the dumb, misguided, stupid moves of a weak and ridiculously naive dimwitted crybaby? There is someone else who knows what I am going through?

I was married for 14 years, and now have been divorced for almost 7. He was not a good father. He never took one picture of his children … not one. He teased and insulted my son, gave him titty twisters until his nipples were black and blue. He called myself and my son names and would taunt us with them when we were at our weakest most stressed times. When we would finally burst out after several times of nicely asking please stop … okay hahah I know I am a baby, but seriously, please stop.

Could you not drink before parents get here? The answer was always no. He did not give, ever. Not one bit. And I continually adjusted, made excuses and took the responsibility of fostering the relationship between my own children and him, covering for him all the time. Telling them a gift was his idea even when he called me a retard and a moron for buying it.

I would force him to hold a sleeping infant take a quick picture and have to practically catch the child before it was dropped …. I am interested to know where people learn to behave like this.

Is it innate or have they watched someone else doing it while growing up? I have been living with my partner for over 14 years. I have 3 kids of which the 2 youngest are his.

My oldest child is a 14 year old girl. I used to see strange behaviours in him — like molesting her — but could not accept it, until I caught him. He had threatened to take away his younger sibblings and would want me to be isolated from my friends, especially the males. He had control over everything with money now. Please protect your children! If he is molesting your daughter, he must be reported! Your children are counting on you to protect them.

Best luck! There was a time my friend told me my man was playing mind games with me. And I thought I could do them better. It would help someone in that kind of situation. Sometimes the best thing to do, if possible, is to walk away from the situation. I actually had to end a friendship today, something I've rarely done, because the friend would not stop arguing and being defensive, blaming me, and being arrogant in her approach to many people. I felt a big sigh of relief afterward.

Continually misunderstanding someone can, in itself, be a kind of crazy-making, power struggle mind game. What if you aren't dating that person and he act so nice too you and a day or two he start making you feel like your nothing. I try not to put up with it but it hurts me so much that I feel like I'm nothing.

Good article. I have a neighbour who lives in the apartment below me and enjoys controlling the volume on his TV and stereo to a degree that I am unable to hear my music and TV. Any advice you could throw my way?!

Probably best to move. Confronting him will only make the situation worse for you and it will make him happy. He will never change. Sounds like he is a bitter angry person. This information needs to be made available alongside what is here as any attempt to treat an abuser as someone who just feels insecure can be very dangerous indeed.

Never ever be a slave to anyone, those who really love u will never put you this kind of stupid games, walk away from them….

Telling them that you don't want to play mind games makes things worse form my experience because usually the person playing the games are determined to win, they bitch about if you make it public, beating them at their game gives the determined mind game player a reason to continue playing games with you till they have run out of ways to beat you. You need to exhaust their options of winning for them to truly back down without hurting them. Make it seem like you're having fun and winning all the time and they will back down.

The article doesn't show or explain how to handle the situation when taking the more mature route isn't an option. Sometimes in these situations taking the high road is looked upon as weak. Clearly I know better but that doesn't help in handling the situation while in it. When attempting to get to know someone prior to a date if they start with the mind games or flake I just drop it and move on.

Not going to put up with childish games don't have the time for it. If they have emotional issues then it is something they need to work on or speak with a therapist about.

Great article. I have a boss who is insecure and makes a decision then swears she didn't say anything. Thankfully it happened to a friend of mine, so I figured out what was going on. I'm a very calm person and I have to admit using that as a weapon. She has yelled and I just calmly react with reason, admitting any fault and picking apart the untrue. I have a number of people in my life playing mind on me at present! I feel they are trying to help me in some way but they are in fact making my anxiety and insecurities around love and happiness I desperately need, want and have turned my life around to have worse.

I feel I am being judged and constantly observed a little humiliated also to say, act and to do the right thing… these types of mind games can have serious detrimental consequences on an individual that has turned their life around from self-destructive behaviors, addiction, self-harm, risk taking etc. I am giving these people involved with an open heart and mind to explain their motives to me and what are the reasons behind these mind games played on me over a pretty long period of time.

I feel everyone has a right to free speech, to express their happiness, sadness and so on! Not to have to hide it away in fear of rejection, humility, hurt, fear etc. I see mind games all day at work, I'm not a gamer, I'd personally rather take it outside deal with it old school and go back doing my job. Today's society seems like they want the money but do as little as they can to receive the most money and play games to achieve the promotion they don't deserve.

Just my thoughts, not everyone is like that. Probably nothing new that this happens just seem to notice more.

Signing off. Gulf war vet I don't feel this is true… my son plays mind games with me and your suggestions would NOT help at all!

Motive: Because I wasn't ready for relationship or I wanted to build one with him before actually dating he took it as if I was "playing'' because I wanted to go about a relationship the right way this time. So he used someone's as a weapon to get back at me to make me feel bad for making my decision taking my time in getting in a relationship.

Thanks for this article! I'm so happy that I read this article. I just had something happened two weeks ago. I made a friend and everything was great and then he started actually test me and it's funny that's one of the things you said and he tested me and it was the result if I went along with it I would have been in legal trouble which would have possibly gotten me in prison and a big fine and then he ended up telling me yesterday that I don't know how to be real, I don't know how to be real to myself mainly because I've never been married and this coming from a guy who's had two failed marriages and three years in prison and so no I know how to be real, he doesn't know how to be real, I just pray for him because he really needs it!